Life Lesson #1 -You know you're an adult when you get excited about having enough money to go to the grocery store.
Life Lesson #2 - Sometimes the deepest heartaches don't come from romantic relationships.
Life Lesson #3 - Heartache is a part of living.
Life Lesson #4 - Don't subscribe to the status updates of random Spanish speaking guys on your facebook mobile. (Kara.)
Life Lesson #5 -The less you focus on yourself, the more rewarding and adventurous life becomes, because you have all that time on your hands that you used to spend worrying about what other people thought of you. (Still working on this!)
Life Lesson #6 - "To forgive is to know. He who loves, sees." (C.S. Lewis)
Life Lesson #7 - Most seemingly huge problems don't end up seeming so huge on the other side of them.
Life Lesson #8 - If you get impatient and embarassed about someone's behavior in public, you always turn out looking worse than them.
Life Lesson #9 - Some people really just need to sort things out on their own. Most times, the best way to be a friend to someone is to just be with them and offer an open ear if they need it. (Still working on this too.)
I love this quote: "Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." - George Eliot
Life Lesson #10 - You can go half way across the world and touch someone's life, and that's important. You can walk just down the street and touch someone's life, and that's important too.
Life Lesson #11 -
"We are all very anxious to be understood, and it is very hard not to be. But there is one thing much more necessary...
to understand other people." (George MacDonald)
Life Lesson #12 - "...do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:25-27)
Life Lesson #13 - Sometimes waiting is harder than working. Sometimes God asks us to wait. (Thanks Megan!)
Life Lesson #14 - Keep an open heart when it comes to people. The person you never thought you would be able to hold a 5 minute conversation with, might end up becoming one of your best friends. It just takes more for some people to open up. A lot of people have a hard time trusting, just like you.
Life Lesson #15 - You know you're really an adult when you can buy a Sesame Street coloring book (for yourself) and admit it.
Life Lesson #16 -I really don't know that much.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
a God like no other.
Yesterday I was the designated driver for my sister's trip to an eye doctor in Atlanta. She's doing fine, she just had an infection that did some damage in one of her eyes, but they think it will repair itself with some super intense saline drops for a few weeks.
While I was waiting for her in the waiting room, I was reading from the book Killing Fields, Living Fields. It's a history of the Cambodian church. It talks about how during the brutal civil war that broke out right before the even more brutal Khmer Rouge years, the church in Cambodia began to explode. The fields were so ripe for harvest, because the people began to see that their gods didn't bring any hope for the horrific times they were facing. Once they became Christians they began to say things like "our gods gave us laws and then died and left us alone, but JESUS IS ALIVE!!!" The Church began to go around reaching out to the hurting, poverty stricken, and abandoned with the love of Jesus Christ and all of the churches and home groups began overflowing. People were literally "spilling out of the windows."
I was sitting there in this eye doctor's office with "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" playing on the TV, and a Pod coffee maker to my right on a table, styrofoam cups piled up and whispery gossip going on amongst the office workers. But I wasn't there. I was transported to Cambodia in the early 1970's. I felt such a connection to the Christians there. They became my closest friends for that moment.
One part of the book talks about how Buddhist monks began coming to the churches, seeking Jesus, because...get this: there had been a prophecy among the monks for a very long time that there would be a "terrible war when 'a great one, a god' would come to the 'place where four rivers meet' (Phnom Penh -the capital city of Cambodia) with scars in his hands, his feet and side'." Many of the monks accepted Christ and became pastors in the church!
My heart broke as it talked about how right before the Khmer Rouge completely took over, all of the missionaries had to leave. Their names were on government lists as Christian workers and if they stayed with the local Christians those Christians would be immediately incriminated. However, the missionaries also knew that they were going to safety in Thailand while their beloved brothers and sisters of the Cambodian church had to stay behind and would eventually experience unspeakable torture and most likely, death.
I felt so honored, that I am going to get the chance to live and worship alongside the next generation of the Cambodian church. I'll get a chance to be a part of their lives for a little while, and see the legacy that those who sought God's face during the darkest of times passed on. Maybe those in the church today aren't even directly from those peoples' families, but I know that God is making sure that what they sought is being carried on and fulfilled now.
I was reading in Isaiah the other day, and I came across these verses:
"On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
He will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken. "
As I was reading it, I began to see...that the gift of redemption that Jesus Christ died on the cross for goes so deep... it's so rich... that it is like a lavish banquet for those who make the decision to partake. It's like the best of meats and the finest of aged wines. The Cambodian Christians I was reading about knew this. The shroud of death and spiritual darkness that had once covered their hearts and eyes had been removed and even though the circumstances of their lives were worse than any of us could imagine, they realized that the banquet of Jesus Christ was what really mattered. That the joy and fellowship and nearness of God that comes along with it cannot be stolen by anything on this earth. Those things carry on into eternity.
I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I lived every day like them?
While I was waiting for her in the waiting room, I was reading from the book Killing Fields, Living Fields. It's a history of the Cambodian church. It talks about how during the brutal civil war that broke out right before the even more brutal Khmer Rouge years, the church in Cambodia began to explode. The fields were so ripe for harvest, because the people began to see that their gods didn't bring any hope for the horrific times they were facing. Once they became Christians they began to say things like "our gods gave us laws and then died and left us alone, but JESUS IS ALIVE!!!" The Church began to go around reaching out to the hurting, poverty stricken, and abandoned with the love of Jesus Christ and all of the churches and home groups began overflowing. People were literally "spilling out of the windows."
I was sitting there in this eye doctor's office with "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" playing on the TV, and a Pod coffee maker to my right on a table, styrofoam cups piled up and whispery gossip going on amongst the office workers. But I wasn't there. I was transported to Cambodia in the early 1970's. I felt such a connection to the Christians there. They became my closest friends for that moment.
One part of the book talks about how Buddhist monks began coming to the churches, seeking Jesus, because...get this: there had been a prophecy among the monks for a very long time that there would be a "terrible war when 'a great one, a god' would come to the 'place where four rivers meet' (Phnom Penh -the capital city of Cambodia) with scars in his hands, his feet and side'." Many of the monks accepted Christ and became pastors in the church!
My heart broke as it talked about how right before the Khmer Rouge completely took over, all of the missionaries had to leave. Their names were on government lists as Christian workers and if they stayed with the local Christians those Christians would be immediately incriminated. However, the missionaries also knew that they were going to safety in Thailand while their beloved brothers and sisters of the Cambodian church had to stay behind and would eventually experience unspeakable torture and most likely, death.
I felt so honored, that I am going to get the chance to live and worship alongside the next generation of the Cambodian church. I'll get a chance to be a part of their lives for a little while, and see the legacy that those who sought God's face during the darkest of times passed on. Maybe those in the church today aren't even directly from those peoples' families, but I know that God is making sure that what they sought is being carried on and fulfilled now.
I was reading in Isaiah the other day, and I came across these verses:
"On this mountain the LORD Almighty will prepare
a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
He will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears
from all faces;
He will remove his people’s disgrace
from all the earth.
The LORD has spoken. "
As I was reading it, I began to see...that the gift of redemption that Jesus Christ died on the cross for goes so deep... it's so rich... that it is like a lavish banquet for those who make the decision to partake. It's like the best of meats and the finest of aged wines. The Cambodian Christians I was reading about knew this. The shroud of death and spiritual darkness that had once covered their hearts and eyes had been removed and even though the circumstances of their lives were worse than any of us could imagine, they realized that the banquet of Jesus Christ was what really mattered. That the joy and fellowship and nearness of God that comes along with it cannot be stolen by anything on this earth. Those things carry on into eternity.
I couldn't help but wonder, what would happen if I lived every day like them?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
This Christmas.
On Sunday, Pastor Phil preached about worship for the first sermon in a series about Advent. It was a beautiful sermon full of wisdom from God, however, the main thing that stuck out to me was when he mentioned the phrase tohu va bohu. That's the phrase used in Genesis 1, where it says that the earth was without form and void. It says that God's spirit hovered over the darkness. Later in his sermon he compared that to the state of the world when Jesus was born. The world was in darkness and chaos, but God's spirit hovered, ready to come down and change the world.
It didn't look like what most of us would think of when we think of a revolution. A little baby? A poor man, telling stories about farmers and women with coins. A man from the wrong side of the tracks, eating with whores and IRS agents, and then eventually dying a criminals death? It still doesn't always look like the kind of change that we would have chosen, even a couple thousand years later. The world is still broken, there is still chaos and darkness all around. We know though...we know that He has already won the victory, it's only a matter of time. A quote Pastor Phil used said something like, "Christians aren't world changers. Christians are worshipping witnesses to a world God has already changed."
I feel the tohu va bohu all around me lately. It's trying to engulf the ones that I love, it's trying to suffocate the movement of true worshippers that is arising from the ashes. It can't truly invade my heart, because I know it for what it really is, so it is attacking the ones I love.
God's spirit is hovering though...His mighty, awesome, powerful spirit. The same spirit that raised Christ from the grave is waiting above the darkness, ready to pour down in a mighty torrent. The timing is His. Just like Jesus was born in "the fullness of time," things are being made right in His perfect timing.
I was listening to the radio and TobyMac's Christmas song "This Christmas" was playing. I love the part that says, "Holy, holy, holy, God is coming near. Unto us a savior's born, on a midnight clear." Isn't it an incredible thought that God came near, and is still near ? With us...in everything. Emmanuel, God with us. I haven't even felt an interest in the "Christmasy" part of Christmas yet this year. I could care less if there's a tree or snow or presents. I'm not saying this to brag, really, the total opposite. I have been humbled. The things I have seen and experienced in the last six months of my life have left me both in awe and broken at the realization that the only thing that really matters in life is that God is near to us.
My one wish and prayer this year is that the one would come back into the fold and find their place with the ninety-nine again.
Amen.
It didn't look like what most of us would think of when we think of a revolution. A little baby? A poor man, telling stories about farmers and women with coins. A man from the wrong side of the tracks, eating with whores and IRS agents, and then eventually dying a criminals death? It still doesn't always look like the kind of change that we would have chosen, even a couple thousand years later. The world is still broken, there is still chaos and darkness all around. We know though...we know that He has already won the victory, it's only a matter of time. A quote Pastor Phil used said something like, "Christians aren't world changers. Christians are worshipping witnesses to a world God has already changed."
I feel the tohu va bohu all around me lately. It's trying to engulf the ones that I love, it's trying to suffocate the movement of true worshippers that is arising from the ashes. It can't truly invade my heart, because I know it for what it really is, so it is attacking the ones I love.
God's spirit is hovering though...His mighty, awesome, powerful spirit. The same spirit that raised Christ from the grave is waiting above the darkness, ready to pour down in a mighty torrent. The timing is His. Just like Jesus was born in "the fullness of time," things are being made right in His perfect timing.
I was listening to the radio and TobyMac's Christmas song "This Christmas" was playing. I love the part that says, "Holy, holy, holy, God is coming near. Unto us a savior's born, on a midnight clear." Isn't it an incredible thought that God came near, and is still near ? With us...in everything. Emmanuel, God with us. I haven't even felt an interest in the "Christmasy" part of Christmas yet this year. I could care less if there's a tree or snow or presents. I'm not saying this to brag, really, the total opposite. I have been humbled. The things I have seen and experienced in the last six months of my life have left me both in awe and broken at the realization that the only thing that really matters in life is that God is near to us.
My one wish and prayer this year is that the one would come back into the fold and find their place with the ninety-nine again.
Amen.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I hope you see Jesus.
Instead of fear, instead of blinded eyes,
Instead of shame, instead of all my lies
Instead of an orphan, without a name,
I hope you see Jesus.
Instead of anger, instead of unbelief,
Instead of weakness, in the heart of me,
Instead of a wounded soul, that sometimes loses faith.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
Standing in my place,
Bearing all my shame,
I hope you see Jesus.
Instead of voices, in a faceless crowd.
Instead of prophets, crying out from behind a shroud,
Instead of fingers, pointing out the blame.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
Standing in my place,
Bearing all my shame,
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Love.
I hope you see Love.
I hope you see Love.
My God, when you look on us,
A broken people,who have turned from love.
Instead of the words we throw,
And the wars we wage,
I hope you forgive us.
I hope you see Jesus."
-"I Hope You See Jesus" by Bebo Norman
This song perfectly describes the hard lessons God has been teaching me lately. It's not about having all the answers, it's not about being able to fix someone. It's about having the heart of Jesus take over my weak, impatient, imperfect human heart.
I hope that I have loved a little bit like He loves. It can only happen with the power of the Holy Spirit, because it's just in my nature to become frustrated, impatient, and oh so heavy with the burdens of someone I've come to love so very much. It's only when a seed dies that it can bear fruit. Much fruit.
Instead of shame, instead of all my lies
Instead of an orphan, without a name,
I hope you see Jesus.
Instead of anger, instead of unbelief,
Instead of weakness, in the heart of me,
Instead of a wounded soul, that sometimes loses faith.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
Standing in my place,
Bearing all my shame,
I hope you see Jesus.
Instead of voices, in a faceless crowd.
Instead of prophets, crying out from behind a shroud,
Instead of fingers, pointing out the blame.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Jesus.
Standing in my place,
Bearing all my shame,
I hope you see Jesus.
I hope you see Love.
I hope you see Love.
I hope you see Love.
My God, when you look on us,
A broken people,who have turned from love.
Instead of the words we throw,
And the wars we wage,
I hope you forgive us.
I hope you see Jesus."
-"I Hope You See Jesus" by Bebo Norman
This song perfectly describes the hard lessons God has been teaching me lately. It's not about having all the answers, it's not about being able to fix someone. It's about having the heart of Jesus take over my weak, impatient, imperfect human heart.
I hope that I have loved a little bit like He loves. It can only happen with the power of the Holy Spirit, because it's just in my nature to become frustrated, impatient, and oh so heavy with the burdens of someone I've come to love so very much. It's only when a seed dies that it can bear fruit. Much fruit.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
I was reading in 2 Corinthians the other day and I stumbled across these verses (4:5-7) that I've read before, but really only now began to fully sink in:
For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
Wow. Stop and think about it for a minute. The God who spoke into the dark void at the beginning of time and said "Let there be light." The God who created that light out of nothing, made His light to shine in our hearts. He gave us the glory of Himself through the face of His son Jesus Christ. He has placed that light in our hearts...and here's my favorite part...He placed it in us. Jars of clay. Temporary, fragile, human bodies, so that none of it could be to our credit. That it can only be from Him and Him alone. It goes on to say in the following verses that even if we face trouble and persecution in our human bodies that we will not be struck down. I love this part in verses 16-18:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
No matter what may happen to our temporary jars of clay, that light that He has placed inside of us, what makes us truly alive, will never be destroyed. No one can take that away from us.
Does that not just make you want to fall on your knees and bow before the Maker of Heaven and Earth?
For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
Wow. Stop and think about it for a minute. The God who spoke into the dark void at the beginning of time and said "Let there be light." The God who created that light out of nothing, made His light to shine in our hearts. He gave us the glory of Himself through the face of His son Jesus Christ. He has placed that light in our hearts...and here's my favorite part...He placed it in us. Jars of clay. Temporary, fragile, human bodies, so that none of it could be to our credit. That it can only be from Him and Him alone. It goes on to say in the following verses that even if we face trouble and persecution in our human bodies that we will not be struck down. I love this part in verses 16-18:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
No matter what may happen to our temporary jars of clay, that light that He has placed inside of us, what makes us truly alive, will never be destroyed. No one can take that away from us.
Does that not just make you want to fall on your knees and bow before the Maker of Heaven and Earth?
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Recently God has been "re-challenging" me on the subject of carrying others burdens. For some reason God made me a good listener. I love to be there for people and many times I can feel the feeling behind the words they are saying. This happens more so with some people than others, especially people that I feel like God has connected me with for some special reason. While this has caused me some pain in the past, I have definitely come to see it as a gift from God. In the Bible it says we are to "bear one another's burdens." In 2 Corinthians 1:3-6 it speaks about sharing the comfort we receive from Christ during our times of trouble with others who need comfort in troubles down the road.
The problem comes when I try to carry those burdens on my own. A while back, when I was in college, I went through a really dark time where I felt so anxious all the time. I was carrying around the burdens of so many people I loved and I didn't know how to handle it. I read the book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and in it there is a character who talks about keeping a worry box. She writes down all her worries and places them in the box and gives them to God to hold. There's a part in the book where she opens up the box and starts to read her worries from the past year or so and nearly every single one of them had been taken care of by God in some way. God told me that I was carrying too many people's burdens on my own back instead of taking them on and then handing them off to Him. I started keeping a worry box too. At the end of that school year, when I was moving out of my apartment, I opened that box and started reading. God had taken care of EVERY SINGLE PEICE OF PAPER. I sat bawling on my floor as a feeling of the great love He has for His children came flooding over me.
Recently I've found myself slipping into my old habits of trying to take care of people's pain on my own. God has quickly reminded me though, of that lesson that He taught me back in college. I need to give those things over to Him, and then I can rejoice in the fact that people trust me, instead of seeing it as a burden. I can freely share the comfort that Christ has given me through trials in my life with those that I love so dearly...those that HE loves even infinitely more!
The problem comes when I try to carry those burdens on my own. A while back, when I was in college, I went through a really dark time where I felt so anxious all the time. I was carrying around the burdens of so many people I loved and I didn't know how to handle it. I read the book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and in it there is a character who talks about keeping a worry box. She writes down all her worries and places them in the box and gives them to God to hold. There's a part in the book where she opens up the box and starts to read her worries from the past year or so and nearly every single one of them had been taken care of by God in some way. God told me that I was carrying too many people's burdens on my own back instead of taking them on and then handing them off to Him. I started keeping a worry box too. At the end of that school year, when I was moving out of my apartment, I opened that box and started reading. God had taken care of EVERY SINGLE PEICE OF PAPER. I sat bawling on my floor as a feeling of the great love He has for His children came flooding over me.
Recently I've found myself slipping into my old habits of trying to take care of people's pain on my own. God has quickly reminded me though, of that lesson that He taught me back in college. I need to give those things over to Him, and then I can rejoice in the fact that people trust me, instead of seeing it as a burden. I can freely share the comfort that Christ has given me through trials in my life with those that I love so dearly...those that HE loves even infinitely more!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Do it Lord!
I see Your glory covering the earth, Lord
Just as the waters are covering the sea
I see the millions coming to salvation
I see revival fire in the land
I see the lost and nameless ones remembered
I see the widows shouting out your praise
I see the friendless loved and celebrated
Orphans fulfilling, Lord, Your calling on their lives.
Do it Lord, do it Lord,
Do it Lord we are praying,
Do it Lord, do it that your glory may be seen.
I see forgiveness overtaking hatred
Pride and prejudice now giving way to love
I see depression replaced with joy and gladness
And Satan’s lies now bowing to the Truth.
Do it Lord, do it Lord,
Do it Lord we are praying,
Do it Lord, do it that your glory may be seen.
This is our prayer oh God
This is our desperate cry
In these days that we’re living now
Let Your kingdom come let your will be done.
I see the brokenness of families brought to wholeness
I see the prodigals running home to You
Father’s hearts now turning toward their children
And the children’s hearts turning toward their father’s.
I see Your Church rising up in power
Laying down their lives in unity and love
I hear the sounds of every tribe and nation
Giving glory to Jesus Christ the Son.
-"Do It Lord" by Tommy Walker
One of my new favorite songs! The words are so prophetic and powerful.
Just as the waters are covering the sea
I see the millions coming to salvation
I see revival fire in the land
I see the lost and nameless ones remembered
I see the widows shouting out your praise
I see the friendless loved and celebrated
Orphans fulfilling, Lord, Your calling on their lives.
Do it Lord, do it Lord,
Do it Lord we are praying,
Do it Lord, do it that your glory may be seen.
I see forgiveness overtaking hatred
Pride and prejudice now giving way to love
I see depression replaced with joy and gladness
And Satan’s lies now bowing to the Truth.
Do it Lord, do it Lord,
Do it Lord we are praying,
Do it Lord, do it that your glory may be seen.
This is our prayer oh God
This is our desperate cry
In these days that we’re living now
Let Your kingdom come let your will be done.
I see the brokenness of families brought to wholeness
I see the prodigals running home to You
Father’s hearts now turning toward their children
And the children’s hearts turning toward their father’s.
I see Your Church rising up in power
Laying down their lives in unity and love
I hear the sounds of every tribe and nation
Giving glory to Jesus Christ the Son.
-"Do It Lord" by Tommy Walker
One of my new favorite songs! The words are so prophetic and powerful.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
"...to forgive is to know. He who loves, sees."
"...to forgive is to know. He who loves, sees."
-C.S. Lewis
Some people say that love is blind. God is not blind though, and He is Love. He sees every single thing that makes up who we are...past, present and future. He sees the lies, He sees the hypocrasy, He sees the wrong motives, the insecurity, the doubt, the bad attitudes, perversion, and just plain jealousy. But He loves us anyway. Infinitely more...anyway. He also sees who we were created to be on earth and even into eternity. He treats us as those people. He loved us so much that He gave His son to die so that we could be united with Him, inspite of our fragile, sinful, human ways. If we could treat others with even a speck of the respect that He treats us with, to see them with even a glimmer of the brilliant picture He paints of them, then I believe the church would be more unified and effective (in the way God intended) than we could ever dream of.
The problem is, (and I am definitely writing this to myself as well as anyone else,) we can't see people that way. In our humanity the faults of others scream to us so much louder than the lovely things. The only way we can see people through God's omniscient eyes is by asking Him to give us eyes like His. We have to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, and we have to trust Him when He is doing that.
Like C.S. Lewis said, we can't be blind to the faults...that's just ignorance, but we can ask God to help us love inspite of those faults, remembering that we too are incredibly faulty by nature. And I'm not just talking "I love them, but I don't like them" love here. To me that's another saying that is often taken as wisdom but is absolutely false. We like to say those kinds of things because we don't want to admit that we aren't feeling love for someone. That would point out that we are in the wrong somehow. How would you feel if God said to you, "I love you, but I don't like you." To me it would be a slap in the face. It wouldn't really feel like love at all to me. I'd rather not have that kind of love. God loves us and delights in our company. He likes us.
I had a dream last week. It was the most terrible but beautiful dream I have ever had in my life. I dreamed I was looking at Jesus, laying on the cross on the ground, just having been nailed to it, but not yet raised up. He was broken, mauled, and bleeding profusely. He barely looked human. It was terrifying to me, because no movie scene could ever fully depict what He looked like there in my dream. I wasn't afraid though. I felt calm and at peace. I heard His voice saying to me, "I did this...I did this for all people, so that they could be free."
The image still haunts me in a wonderful way. I see it often throughout the day, and I am reminded that what I saw there is the one thing that life is truly all about. How can we take that image, and the undeserved grace that it bestows upon us, and carry it to those around us? I wish I knew exactly how the answer to that question would look, lived out in everyday life. I don't though. I do, however, believe that the answer comes in humbly and completely giving your eyes, your speech, your actions, your decisions, your hopes and dreams over to the One who who is Perfection. The One who loved us all enough to give Himself over to what I saw in that dream.
-C.S. Lewis
Some people say that love is blind. God is not blind though, and He is Love. He sees every single thing that makes up who we are...past, present and future. He sees the lies, He sees the hypocrasy, He sees the wrong motives, the insecurity, the doubt, the bad attitudes, perversion, and just plain jealousy. But He loves us anyway. Infinitely more...anyway. He also sees who we were created to be on earth and even into eternity. He treats us as those people. He loved us so much that He gave His son to die so that we could be united with Him, inspite of our fragile, sinful, human ways. If we could treat others with even a speck of the respect that He treats us with, to see them with even a glimmer of the brilliant picture He paints of them, then I believe the church would be more unified and effective (in the way God intended) than we could ever dream of.
The problem is, (and I am definitely writing this to myself as well as anyone else,) we can't see people that way. In our humanity the faults of others scream to us so much louder than the lovely things. The only way we can see people through God's omniscient eyes is by asking Him to give us eyes like His. We have to ask the Holy Spirit to guide us, and we have to trust Him when He is doing that.
Like C.S. Lewis said, we can't be blind to the faults...that's just ignorance, but we can ask God to help us love inspite of those faults, remembering that we too are incredibly faulty by nature. And I'm not just talking "I love them, but I don't like them" love here. To me that's another saying that is often taken as wisdom but is absolutely false. We like to say those kinds of things because we don't want to admit that we aren't feeling love for someone. That would point out that we are in the wrong somehow. How would you feel if God said to you, "I love you, but I don't like you." To me it would be a slap in the face. It wouldn't really feel like love at all to me. I'd rather not have that kind of love. God loves us and delights in our company. He likes us.
I had a dream last week. It was the most terrible but beautiful dream I have ever had in my life. I dreamed I was looking at Jesus, laying on the cross on the ground, just having been nailed to it, but not yet raised up. He was broken, mauled, and bleeding profusely. He barely looked human. It was terrifying to me, because no movie scene could ever fully depict what He looked like there in my dream. I wasn't afraid though. I felt calm and at peace. I heard His voice saying to me, "I did this...I did this for all people, so that they could be free."
The image still haunts me in a wonderful way. I see it often throughout the day, and I am reminded that what I saw there is the one thing that life is truly all about. How can we take that image, and the undeserved grace that it bestows upon us, and carry it to those around us? I wish I knew exactly how the answer to that question would look, lived out in everyday life. I don't though. I do, however, believe that the answer comes in humbly and completely giving your eyes, your speech, your actions, your decisions, your hopes and dreams over to the One who who is Perfection. The One who loved us all enough to give Himself over to what I saw in that dream.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Flexi-blay
Sunday evening my sister Kara and I decided we wanted to drive to a town about half and hour away to visit the church of Pastor Tad, Megan, Matt, and Heather, four of our El Salvador team members. Lance (another team member from our church) and his sister Kayla had been with them all day, helping out with children's church. We invited Ronnie (our "heart brother") to come with us and since we had been housesitting just down the street from him all week, and he doesn't get good phone reception in his house, we just stopped by his house right before we needed to leave to pick him up. There was a miscommunication, so he didn't have time to change out of his human video practice clothes (karate pants and a grey t-shirt.) So basically we looked like a pretty ragamuffin group.
We were about 30 min. late to the service and when we walked in, Megan came out to meet us. Heather was singing a solo in the service and we distracted her by looking through the windows in the sanctuary door. She didn't miss a beat though! She and Matt were totally surprised to see us. Megan keeps a good secret.
When we walked in, Pastor Tad was leading the service, and he called us up to the front and asked us all to give a testimony of what God had done in our lives and on the trip. So there we were, in our old jeans and t-shirts, Ronnie looking like he just rolled out of bed, having to get up on stage and speak to everyone. God does have quite a sense of humor!!! I was able to share about Cambodia. Definitely the most spur-of-the-moment speaking engagement I've ever had.
Kara shared her testimony, and afterwards she prayed with a girl who had been dealing with a lot of stuff in her life. It was definitely a "God appointment." I can't tell you how proud I am of my sister. She's my best friend, and even though she's younger, I look up to her for her determination, and her ability to speak the truth over people's lives.
Ronnie encouraged us all to minister in our own community. He shared stories of how God has used him to speak to strangers in stores and on the street. I know he really challenges me to listen closer to the voice of God and obey. Though I didn't grow up with him in my house, I feel like I've known him for years, and I'm as proud of him as I would be my own flesh and blood brother, if I had one. I think I have a lot to learn from him.
After the service we went out to eat at a pizzaria and had some great fellowship with our "family". I was thinking the whole time what a privilege and a blessing it is to be a part of the Body of Christ. God has rocked my heart and my perception of Him, of missions trips... of the church, in the days coming back from El Salvador. That kind of fellowship and reliance on Him really CAN carry over into your "real life" after a short term missions trip, if you're a willing vessel for His change.
I'm praying and waiting for Cambodia. Can't wait to be there...but at the same time, there are so many people to love, and so much to experience with God right here in my own home until I get there.
I love you all...may you experience, as much as humanly possible, the riches of His expansive love, every minute of every day... until He returns.
Jennifer
We were about 30 min. late to the service and when we walked in, Megan came out to meet us. Heather was singing a solo in the service and we distracted her by looking through the windows in the sanctuary door. She didn't miss a beat though! She and Matt were totally surprised to see us. Megan keeps a good secret.
When we walked in, Pastor Tad was leading the service, and he called us up to the front and asked us all to give a testimony of what God had done in our lives and on the trip. So there we were, in our old jeans and t-shirts, Ronnie looking like he just rolled out of bed, having to get up on stage and speak to everyone. God does have quite a sense of humor!!! I was able to share about Cambodia. Definitely the most spur-of-the-moment speaking engagement I've ever had.
Kara shared her testimony, and afterwards she prayed with a girl who had been dealing with a lot of stuff in her life. It was definitely a "God appointment." I can't tell you how proud I am of my sister. She's my best friend, and even though she's younger, I look up to her for her determination, and her ability to speak the truth over people's lives.
Ronnie encouraged us all to minister in our own community. He shared stories of how God has used him to speak to strangers in stores and on the street. I know he really challenges me to listen closer to the voice of God and obey. Though I didn't grow up with him in my house, I feel like I've known him for years, and I'm as proud of him as I would be my own flesh and blood brother, if I had one. I think I have a lot to learn from him.
After the service we went out to eat at a pizzaria and had some great fellowship with our "family". I was thinking the whole time what a privilege and a blessing it is to be a part of the Body of Christ. God has rocked my heart and my perception of Him, of missions trips... of the church, in the days coming back from El Salvador. That kind of fellowship and reliance on Him really CAN carry over into your "real life" after a short term missions trip, if you're a willing vessel for His change.
I'm praying and waiting for Cambodia. Can't wait to be there...but at the same time, there are so many people to love, and so much to experience with God right here in my own home until I get there.
I love you all...may you experience, as much as humanly possible, the riches of His expansive love, every minute of every day... until He returns.
Jennifer
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Life Change... 07/16-24/2010
I have always claimed to know that God is all powerful, all knowing, and in control of every single thing on this earth...but I never fully witnessed first hand just how that power, knowledge, and control works out in our world until this past week.
I traveled to San Salvador, El Salvador with a group of young people and youth leaders from my church, as well as two other churches from July 16th through 24th. I can honestly say that I left a huge part of my heart in El Salvador, and the other portion came back with the other members of our incredible team.
The people of El Salvador are some of the most humble and generous I have ever met. Their gentle, reserved, laid back spirit touched my heart in a way that no other people group ever has. I have a certain feeling though, that when I meet the Cambodian people, I will have a very similar kindredness with them. Both people groups have experienced great nationwide tragedies in their recent histories (Cambodia's Khmer Rouge and the El Salvadorian Civil War,) that have left them humble and broken. Fertile hearts for God to fill with His indescribable love!
I have been on a lot of missions trips. I can honestly say that I have never experienced one like this trip before. God was so active in every minute of every day that my heart felt like it was going to explode. Each day just kept getting better. Every member of my team was a willing, open vessel for God to have His way through and He used them in ways that I don't think they would have ever guessed He could use them before. I count it a privilege to be able to call all 16 of my fellow team members my family. I learned so much about each one of their lives, and they spoke into my life in unexpected ways too. I felt like God was equipping me through the eyes of each one of them, to be a better disciple, missionary, friend, mentor, leader, preacher, teacher, and whatever else God wants me to be.
We visited an orphanage one day. We stepped off of our bus and immediately little kids ran up and gave us gigantic hugs and clung to our legs and took us by the hand. They had never seen us before, but they were so hungry for love that they had no reservations about wrapping their arms around a complete stranger. The deep, pure love that I felt from them is something I will never forget. I met a special little friend there named Emily. She clung to me the whole time and she even walked me to the bus as we were about to leave, not letting go of my hand until she absolutely had to. She gave me two of her silly bands and I haven't taken them off since. I will always remember her.
The El Salvadorian church is made up of some of the best worshippers in the world! I enjoyed worshipping with the congregation of Templo Christiano so much. I also really loved being a part of a Sunday night service at another smaller church in the area. Their worship leader, Roberto, looked like an El Salvadorian version of Josh Groban, and his brother Oscar, who was the children's pastor, is a great rapper :-)
I will never forget the service we went to way, way, waaaay out in the mountains. Ricardo, our leader of the trip, told us it would be about an hour drive. It turned out to be over 2 hours, with lots of cattle herds in the road along the way, but it was well worth the long drive once we got there. The church wasn't completely finished, so it looked more like a barn than a church. The floor was made of dirt. That church might not have had the nicest building, but it had a backdrop of El Salvadorian mountains that was worth more than all the riches in the world. The people there were different looking than those in the cities. They were weathered and wild looking with intense light eyes. I met a young mother there who had a daughter in her arms with some sort of head trauma or birth defect that caused her to be immobile and unresponsive. She was probably around 2 years old, but she lay in her mother's arms in a blanket like an infant. Her name was Carolyn-Elise and she was absolutely the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. Kara and I asked if we could pray for her, and we believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will be running and playing like other children in the years to come.
There were many other experiences, way too many to write about. If you would like to see pictures and videos to illustrate some of them, you can go on my facebook. I would like to say though...
NEVER EVER underestimate God. He can and will completely knock any expectations you might have out of the water, if you only let Him. He is real and active and so alive and so powerful. Never settle for less than what He has in mind for you. This kind of power and great love is not just for missions trips. Live it out every day, no matter where you are or what you are doing.
Go.
I traveled to San Salvador, El Salvador with a group of young people and youth leaders from my church, as well as two other churches from July 16th through 24th. I can honestly say that I left a huge part of my heart in El Salvador, and the other portion came back with the other members of our incredible team.
The people of El Salvador are some of the most humble and generous I have ever met. Their gentle, reserved, laid back spirit touched my heart in a way that no other people group ever has. I have a certain feeling though, that when I meet the Cambodian people, I will have a very similar kindredness with them. Both people groups have experienced great nationwide tragedies in their recent histories (Cambodia's Khmer Rouge and the El Salvadorian Civil War,) that have left them humble and broken. Fertile hearts for God to fill with His indescribable love!
I have been on a lot of missions trips. I can honestly say that I have never experienced one like this trip before. God was so active in every minute of every day that my heart felt like it was going to explode. Each day just kept getting better. Every member of my team was a willing, open vessel for God to have His way through and He used them in ways that I don't think they would have ever guessed He could use them before. I count it a privilege to be able to call all 16 of my fellow team members my family. I learned so much about each one of their lives, and they spoke into my life in unexpected ways too. I felt like God was equipping me through the eyes of each one of them, to be a better disciple, missionary, friend, mentor, leader, preacher, teacher, and whatever else God wants me to be.
We visited an orphanage one day. We stepped off of our bus and immediately little kids ran up and gave us gigantic hugs and clung to our legs and took us by the hand. They had never seen us before, but they were so hungry for love that they had no reservations about wrapping their arms around a complete stranger. The deep, pure love that I felt from them is something I will never forget. I met a special little friend there named Emily. She clung to me the whole time and she even walked me to the bus as we were about to leave, not letting go of my hand until she absolutely had to. She gave me two of her silly bands and I haven't taken them off since. I will always remember her.
The El Salvadorian church is made up of some of the best worshippers in the world! I enjoyed worshipping with the congregation of Templo Christiano so much. I also really loved being a part of a Sunday night service at another smaller church in the area. Their worship leader, Roberto, looked like an El Salvadorian version of Josh Groban, and his brother Oscar, who was the children's pastor, is a great rapper :-)
I will never forget the service we went to way, way, waaaay out in the mountains. Ricardo, our leader of the trip, told us it would be about an hour drive. It turned out to be over 2 hours, with lots of cattle herds in the road along the way, but it was well worth the long drive once we got there. The church wasn't completely finished, so it looked more like a barn than a church. The floor was made of dirt. That church might not have had the nicest building, but it had a backdrop of El Salvadorian mountains that was worth more than all the riches in the world. The people there were different looking than those in the cities. They were weathered and wild looking with intense light eyes. I met a young mother there who had a daughter in her arms with some sort of head trauma or birth defect that caused her to be immobile and unresponsive. She was probably around 2 years old, but she lay in her mother's arms in a blanket like an infant. Her name was Carolyn-Elise and she was absolutely the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen. Kara and I asked if we could pray for her, and we believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that she will be running and playing like other children in the years to come.
There were many other experiences, way too many to write about. If you would like to see pictures and videos to illustrate some of them, you can go on my facebook. I would like to say though...
NEVER EVER underestimate God. He can and will completely knock any expectations you might have out of the water, if you only let Him. He is real and active and so alive and so powerful. Never settle for less than what He has in mind for you. This kind of power and great love is not just for missions trips. Live it out every day, no matter where you are or what you are doing.
Go.
Monday, June 21, 2010
The many travels of a Missionary Associate
Hello folks, it's been a while. I've been quite busy the last few weeks, and though I haven't traveled any farther than the next state over, I've been to some very interesting and exciting places.
Several weeks ago I visited my good friends from college, Rachel and Ian, in Opelika, AL. I spent the weekend at their house, catching up, remembering some fantastic times at SEU, and playing Settler's of Catan. I had the opportunity to speak at their church on Sunday night, which is actually a small group of incredible people who meet in an antique furniture store to worship and talk about God. They do all sorts of outreach in the surrounding area. It was a really great experience meeting with them and sharing about Cambodia. And it was definitely the first time I've been to church in a furniture store. Pretty cool!
A couple of weekends later I was able to travel way down south to Cochran, Georgia to visit another good friend from college, Anna. Her dad is the pastor of a church there, and I was able to speak on Sunday morning. I shared a little bit about how I was called to missions, how I was invited to Cambodia, and also about how Ben and Kami's stories collided with mine. Anna also did an "interview" with me about the country, language, food, and other things and we opened the floor up for questions from the congregation. They had some really good questions, such as one little boy, with an awesome feux-hawk, who asked what kind of animals they have in Cambodia. The people I met in Cochran were some of the most welcoming and generous, people I have ever met. Got to love good ol' southern hospitality.
Last Tuesday night, I got to share with a Women on Missions group at First Baptist Moreland, GA. A friend I used to work with at the day care, Cortney, invited me to come speak to the group. It was a small, intimate group, so it was basically like having a conversation with a few women. I love those settings, since I'm not the best public speaker in the world.
I recently won tickets off the radio to Atlanta Fest, which is a big Christian Music Festival at Stone Mountain, GA. My sister and I went this past Friday and Saturday. It was one of the best concert experiences of my life, not to mention some quality time with my favorite person in the world: my sister. We saw Family Force 5, RED, Newsboys, Sanctus Real, and my favorite, Brandon Heath. Brandon has been to Cambodia with the band Leeland (you may have seen their music video for the song "Follow you" which was shot there.) I got to meet him after the show and I mentioned to him that I was going as a missionary to Cambodia. He got really excited and said, "Hey, I've been there!" He asked me where I would be living, and I told him Phnom Pehn. He said, "Cool, it's a really big city! If you get some time off, you should try to go to the Siem Reap area. That's where the ancient temples are. It's a really beautiful place." Then, I gave him one of my prayer cards. Hey, you never know what God can do through one simple thing like that. I'm just getting the word out in high places. Ben Heilman thinks I was proposing to my future husband, but no, it was merely an act of missions friendship... ;-)
Some really big news...Ben, Kami, Hannah, and Ethan moved to Cambodia on June 1st! They are officially on the field, and have been posting some fantastic pictures. Seeing them there makes me want to be there as quickly as possible. The missions bug is biting me something fierce!
All in all it has been a great couple of months. The summer is flying by. In the next few weeks I will be speaking at my cousin Melissa's church in Kentucky, then I will be speaking at my beloved home church, Trinity Fellowship, and THEN I will be headed to El Salvador on a short term missions trip with my church's youth group! If I don't blog much in the upcoming month, you'll know why.
Thank you so much for reading, and being my support base. I love each and every one of you, and I hope God is doing incredible things in your lives this summer <3
Several weeks ago I visited my good friends from college, Rachel and Ian, in Opelika, AL. I spent the weekend at their house, catching up, remembering some fantastic times at SEU, and playing Settler's of Catan. I had the opportunity to speak at their church on Sunday night, which is actually a small group of incredible people who meet in an antique furniture store to worship and talk about God. They do all sorts of outreach in the surrounding area. It was a really great experience meeting with them and sharing about Cambodia. And it was definitely the first time I've been to church in a furniture store. Pretty cool!
A couple of weekends later I was able to travel way down south to Cochran, Georgia to visit another good friend from college, Anna. Her dad is the pastor of a church there, and I was able to speak on Sunday morning. I shared a little bit about how I was called to missions, how I was invited to Cambodia, and also about how Ben and Kami's stories collided with mine. Anna also did an "interview" with me about the country, language, food, and other things and we opened the floor up for questions from the congregation. They had some really good questions, such as one little boy, with an awesome feux-hawk, who asked what kind of animals they have in Cambodia. The people I met in Cochran were some of the most welcoming and generous, people I have ever met. Got to love good ol' southern hospitality.
Last Tuesday night, I got to share with a Women on Missions group at First Baptist Moreland, GA. A friend I used to work with at the day care, Cortney, invited me to come speak to the group. It was a small, intimate group, so it was basically like having a conversation with a few women. I love those settings, since I'm not the best public speaker in the world.
I recently won tickets off the radio to Atlanta Fest, which is a big Christian Music Festival at Stone Mountain, GA. My sister and I went this past Friday and Saturday. It was one of the best concert experiences of my life, not to mention some quality time with my favorite person in the world: my sister. We saw Family Force 5, RED, Newsboys, Sanctus Real, and my favorite, Brandon Heath. Brandon has been to Cambodia with the band Leeland (you may have seen their music video for the song "Follow you" which was shot there.) I got to meet him after the show and I mentioned to him that I was going as a missionary to Cambodia. He got really excited and said, "Hey, I've been there!" He asked me where I would be living, and I told him Phnom Pehn. He said, "Cool, it's a really big city! If you get some time off, you should try to go to the Siem Reap area. That's where the ancient temples are. It's a really beautiful place." Then, I gave him one of my prayer cards. Hey, you never know what God can do through one simple thing like that. I'm just getting the word out in high places. Ben Heilman thinks I was proposing to my future husband, but no, it was merely an act of missions friendship... ;-)
Some really big news...Ben, Kami, Hannah, and Ethan moved to Cambodia on June 1st! They are officially on the field, and have been posting some fantastic pictures. Seeing them there makes me want to be there as quickly as possible. The missions bug is biting me something fierce!
All in all it has been a great couple of months. The summer is flying by. In the next few weeks I will be speaking at my cousin Melissa's church in Kentucky, then I will be speaking at my beloved home church, Trinity Fellowship, and THEN I will be headed to El Salvador on a short term missions trip with my church's youth group! If I don't blog much in the upcoming month, you'll know why.
Thank you so much for reading, and being my support base. I love each and every one of you, and I hope God is doing incredible things in your lives this summer <3
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sacrifice
"For my own part, I have never ceased to rejoice that God has appointed me to such an office. People talk of the sacrifice I have made in spending so much of my life in Africa. Can that be called a sacrifice which is simply paid back as a small part of a great debt owing to our God, which we can never repay? Is that a sacrifice which brings its own blest reward in healthful activity, the consciousness of doing good, peace of mind, and a bright hope of a glorious destiny hereafter? Away with the word in such a view, and with such a thought! It is emphatically no sacrifice. Say rather it is a privilege. Anxiety, sickness, suffering, or danger, now and then, with a foregoing of the common conveniences and charities of this life, may make us pause, and cause the spirit to waver, and the soul to sink; but let this only be for a moment. All these are nothing when compared with the glory which shall be revealed in and for us. I never made a sacrifice."
-David Livingstone
I recently heard in a missions conversation some wisdom which I hadn't thought of before now. This person said that when you're walking in the calling that God has for you, it never feels like a sacrifice to you. If it felt like a sacrifice then that would bring pride. You would feel like you were doing something great for God out of your own strength.
When Ben and Kami first invited me to come work with them in Cambodia, I almost said no. I really had this prideful attitude that I needed to go somewhere in missions where I didn't know anybody and learn to cope with the loneliness, stretch myself, and step out of my comfort zone and all that good churchy jargon we hear all the time.
Now I know, moving to Cambodia isn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But getting to serve in my first real missions appointment with people who are like family is an incredible blessing.
I prayed about going for a while. I'm really glad I did. Since then, God has been opening my heart to the Cambodian people time and time again. I really feel like they are "my people."
God is good.
-David Livingstone
I recently heard in a missions conversation some wisdom which I hadn't thought of before now. This person said that when you're walking in the calling that God has for you, it never feels like a sacrifice to you. If it felt like a sacrifice then that would bring pride. You would feel like you were doing something great for God out of your own strength.
When Ben and Kami first invited me to come work with them in Cambodia, I almost said no. I really had this prideful attitude that I needed to go somewhere in missions where I didn't know anybody and learn to cope with the loneliness, stretch myself, and step out of my comfort zone and all that good churchy jargon we hear all the time.
Now I know, moving to Cambodia isn't going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. But getting to serve in my first real missions appointment with people who are like family is an incredible blessing.
I prayed about going for a while. I'm really glad I did. Since then, God has been opening my heart to the Cambodian people time and time again. I really feel like they are "my people."
God is good.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A Broken Heart
I am currently reading a book called First They Killed My Father written by a woman named Loung Ung. Loung was only 5 years old when the Pol Pot period began in Cambodia. This book is her first hand account of life in her middle class family during the Khmer Rouge. Everything she knew as a small child was stripped away over night. Loung is an incredibly thought-provoking writer who tells everything with stark honesty -her inner feelings, her fears, the experience of living through famine, slave labor, and being forced to be a child soldier. Perhaps most importantly, she describes in detail the deep pain of losing half of her family to the brutal regime.
I find myself having to put the book down after reading a few chapters, in order to process the pain and suffering I have just read about. My heart breaks for the Cambodian people, especially the ones who lived through that time and are haunted by the memory of it.
I also recently read an article from Marie Claire magazine about a former sex slave from Phnom Pehn, Cambodia named Sreypov. She now works for an organization that seeks to offer help to current sex slaves, and to make ways for former slaves to rehabilitate and learn reputable job skills. It is a shocking article, but at the same time, hopeful.
Hope is definitely the word to use when thinking about what the people of Cambodia are longing for. Regimes like that of Pol Pot crush the hope of entire people groups. Yet there is a greater Hope that no one on earth can ever, ever, crush.
My heart is longing for that Hope to flood Cambodia!
I find myself having to put the book down after reading a few chapters, in order to process the pain and suffering I have just read about. My heart breaks for the Cambodian people, especially the ones who lived through that time and are haunted by the memory of it.
I also recently read an article from Marie Claire magazine about a former sex slave from Phnom Pehn, Cambodia named Sreypov. She now works for an organization that seeks to offer help to current sex slaves, and to make ways for former slaves to rehabilitate and learn reputable job skills. It is a shocking article, but at the same time, hopeful.
Hope is definitely the word to use when thinking about what the people of Cambodia are longing for. Regimes like that of Pol Pot crush the hope of entire people groups. Yet there is a greater Hope that no one on earth can ever, ever, crush.
My heart is longing for that Hope to flood Cambodia!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Pre-Field Orientation
Hello! Things are getting exciting!
I recently attended Pre-Field Orientation at the AGWM headquarters in Springfield, MO. It was a week long intensive course on everything I need to know as a Missionary Associate. From budgets to health care to culture shock and everything in between. As you can imagine, it was quite a lot of info to take in at once. We were in classes from 8 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. practically non-stop for a whole week.
However, as overwhelming as it was, it was also one of the best weeks of my life so far! Getting to spend a week with around 40 missionary associates and 25 candidate missionaries who are headed all over the world was such an incredible opportunity. I made so many friends that I hope to keep in touch with for a long time. I could feel the Holy Spirit working in just about everything that was done and said, whether it be laughing at lunch over funny stories with other MA's, or getting on our knees before God during a Missiology and Theology session one afternoon. It was a week I will never forget.
I had the privilege of celebrating my birthday during the week I was there. It was so touching how people I had only known for a few days went out of their way to make me feel special on my b-day! Someone bought my lunch, I recieved a birthday card from the AGWM, they sang "Happy Birthday" to me in class, and a missionary family who will be in Cambodia, the Lovelaces, took me out for dinner and "Andy's" (this amazing frozen custard place that Springfield is famous for.)
It was amazing to me how well I fit in, especially with the group of us going to the Asia Pacific region. I have never felt so comfortable and so close to a group of people so quickly in my entire life. I especially grew close to a young couple who will be going to an area close to me around the same time as me. I really connected with them, and I feel so blessed that God placed us in the same PFO so that we could meet and pray for each other! I hope that we will all be able to meet up again at the regional retreat next year.
I am pumped up and ready to get to Cambodia! I have set a tentative leave date of September 1st, and I know God is going to knock my socks off with making things happen in order for me to leave by then. I need to raise around $2100 in monthly support and a little over $9000 in a cash budget by then. I'm not worried. I know God loves these kinds of situations because He really gets to show off! I already have several churches wanting to support me, and I am setting up speaking opportunities at the churches of friends and family around Georgia. I'm really excited to get started and share about Cambodia, and missionary kids.
This Sunday I will be boldly going where no female missionary has gone before...the men's sunday school class. Haha! My dad is a regular attender and he asked if I could speak in there. It's a great class full of Godly men ready to change the world, so I'm really thankful for the opportunity.
To close this entry, here are some pictures from Springfield:
The Missionary associates from the Asia Pacific region, as well as our Regional Director, Russ Turney.
All of the commissioned Missionary Associates.
Crazy picture! These are the kind of people we are unleashing on the world ;-) Are you scared?
I recently attended Pre-Field Orientation at the AGWM headquarters in Springfield, MO. It was a week long intensive course on everything I need to know as a Missionary Associate. From budgets to health care to culture shock and everything in between. As you can imagine, it was quite a lot of info to take in at once. We were in classes from 8 a.m. to 4:30 a.m. practically non-stop for a whole week.
However, as overwhelming as it was, it was also one of the best weeks of my life so far! Getting to spend a week with around 40 missionary associates and 25 candidate missionaries who are headed all over the world was such an incredible opportunity. I made so many friends that I hope to keep in touch with for a long time. I could feel the Holy Spirit working in just about everything that was done and said, whether it be laughing at lunch over funny stories with other MA's, or getting on our knees before God during a Missiology and Theology session one afternoon. It was a week I will never forget.
I had the privilege of celebrating my birthday during the week I was there. It was so touching how people I had only known for a few days went out of their way to make me feel special on my b-day! Someone bought my lunch, I recieved a birthday card from the AGWM, they sang "Happy Birthday" to me in class, and a missionary family who will be in Cambodia, the Lovelaces, took me out for dinner and "Andy's" (this amazing frozen custard place that Springfield is famous for.)
It was amazing to me how well I fit in, especially with the group of us going to the Asia Pacific region. I have never felt so comfortable and so close to a group of people so quickly in my entire life. I especially grew close to a young couple who will be going to an area close to me around the same time as me. I really connected with them, and I feel so blessed that God placed us in the same PFO so that we could meet and pray for each other! I hope that we will all be able to meet up again at the regional retreat next year.
I am pumped up and ready to get to Cambodia! I have set a tentative leave date of September 1st, and I know God is going to knock my socks off with making things happen in order for me to leave by then. I need to raise around $2100 in monthly support and a little over $9000 in a cash budget by then. I'm not worried. I know God loves these kinds of situations because He really gets to show off! I already have several churches wanting to support me, and I am setting up speaking opportunities at the churches of friends and family around Georgia. I'm really excited to get started and share about Cambodia, and missionary kids.
This Sunday I will be boldly going where no female missionary has gone before...the men's sunday school class. Haha! My dad is a regular attender and he asked if I could speak in there. It's a great class full of Godly men ready to change the world, so I'm really thankful for the opportunity.
To close this entry, here are some pictures from Springfield:
The Missionary associates from the Asia Pacific region, as well as our Regional Director, Russ Turney.
All of the commissioned Missionary Associates.
Crazy picture! These are the kind of people we are unleashing on the world ;-) Are you scared?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Advocate.
"Too often the church has pursued wealth, success, status, and influence. Advocacy presents us with a subtle form of this temptation. We must beware lest influence becomes an end in itself.
We are advocates for and with the poor. And to stand with the poor is to stand with the marginalized and despised...
If you choose to be irrelevant you are not out of touch. You are where most of the world is. The poor of the world are not relevant. When we become the scum of the world we become what the poor already are.
We follow a Lord who exercised his lordship through service, whose strength lay in his weakness, whose glory was revealed in his shame, whose triumph was won through his defeat."
-Justice, Mercy and Humility: Integral Mission and the Poor
That's a quote from a book I used in a paper I wrote in college. It really challenged and humbled me back then, and I recently stumbled across it again and felt like I should post it on here.
Also, here is a video from an organization called the Trash Mountain Project. It's about people (and children!) who live in the dumps in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I was speechless after watching it. I pray you will watch it and let your heart be opened...
We are advocates for and with the poor. And to stand with the poor is to stand with the marginalized and despised...
If you choose to be irrelevant you are not out of touch. You are where most of the world is. The poor of the world are not relevant. When we become the scum of the world we become what the poor already are.
We follow a Lord who exercised his lordship through service, whose strength lay in his weakness, whose glory was revealed in his shame, whose triumph was won through his defeat."
-Justice, Mercy and Humility: Integral Mission and the Poor
That's a quote from a book I used in a paper I wrote in college. It really challenged and humbled me back then, and I recently stumbled across it again and felt like I should post it on here.
Also, here is a video from an organization called the Trash Mountain Project. It's about people (and children!) who live in the dumps in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I was speechless after watching it. I pray you will watch it and let your heart be opened...
Trash Mountain Project - Trashed in Cambodia from Trash Mountain on Vimeo.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Bamboo trees.
My pastor has been doing a Sunday morning series about answering the Call of God the past few weeks. He's been using the life of Abraham for the series. This past Sunday he preached about how God promised Abraham that his decendents would be like the stars in the sky and the grains of sand on the earth. However, Abraham had to wait a long time for that promise to come true. Infact, it didn't really seem possible. He had no children at the time and his wife Sarah was past child-bearing years. At one point, Abraham got tired of waiting and jumped the gun. The result, as most of us probably know, was Ishmael. Not God's intended plan.
Pastor Mark used as one of his illustrations the bamboo tree. He said that when a bamboo tree is planted, it takes five years for it to reach full maturity. In the fifth year though, the growth rate sky rockets. Bamboo trees can reach heights of 60-90 ft. tall. You have to wait for five years to see that full grown plant though.
Maybe God has called you to something, but it looks like it's never going to happen. Maybe you've been waiting a long time and it's getting more and more difficult to stay faithful to what He has asked you to do in the meantime. I've been there. I'm still there. I felt a calling to overseas missions when I was 16. I've waited almost 9 years for that dream to come true. I definitely lost heart a couple of times. I'm finally going...and I'm so excited. I still have to wait though.
Wait on the Lord! Be strong, take heart, and wait on the Lord!
Pastor Mark used as one of his illustrations the bamboo tree. He said that when a bamboo tree is planted, it takes five years for it to reach full maturity. In the fifth year though, the growth rate sky rockets. Bamboo trees can reach heights of 60-90 ft. tall. You have to wait for five years to see that full grown plant though.
Maybe God has called you to something, but it looks like it's never going to happen. Maybe you've been waiting a long time and it's getting more and more difficult to stay faithful to what He has asked you to do in the meantime. I've been there. I'm still there. I felt a calling to overseas missions when I was 16. I've waited almost 9 years for that dream to come true. I definitely lost heart a couple of times. I'm finally going...and I'm so excited. I still have to wait though.
Wait on the Lord! Be strong, take heart, and wait on the Lord!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Cambodia...that's in Africa right? Wait no...South America?
I've found that when I tell people I'm going to Cambodia I get a lot of interesting looks. Either it's a "I don't know where that is, but I'm going to pretend like I do" look, or a "Cambodia...I remember that had something to do with the Vietnam War...why would you want to go there?" look. I don't blame them, I didn't really know where Cambodia was at first either.
So here's a blog about Cambodia.
Cambodia is located in Southeast Asia in between Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam. The capital city is Phnom Penh (where I will be living during my time there.)
(Thanks LonelyPlanet.com for the map!)
Cambodia was once one of the most powerful kingdoms in Southeast Asia. Around the 9th century they were called the Angkor Empire. There are beautiful ruins from this empire that can still be seen in Cambodia today. One of the most famous is known as Angkor Wat:
After the Angkor Empire fell the country was ruled by various powers until the French gained control in 1864. They maintained control for many years until the country fell into civil war in the 1960's. (This is a very brief history, if you want to know more, you can go to Lonely Planet.)
In 1975 the communist Khmer Rouge took control under the dictatorship of Pol Pot. Khmer Rouge is translated as "Red Khmer". They wished to transform Cambodia in to a peasant-led society. Much like the Cultural Revolution of China, they wished to wipe out any forms of cultural advance, education, and religion. Any one with over a 3rd grade education was brutally imprisoned, tortured, and executed. It is estimated that around 2 million people died under the rule of Pol Pot in only a four year period.
Today you can still visit "The Killing Fields", the mass gravesite where innocent prisoners were killed and dumped. I know it will be a haunting and emotion experience to see it, but I feel like it's something I need to do once I get there, in order to better understand the people I will be sharing a year of my life with.
Through much struggle and violence, peace came to Cambodia in the late 1980's and early 1990's. There was still much horror happening to the people, however, in the loosely controlled refugee camps along Thai borders. Lawlessness, violence, poverty and disease were a day-to-day occurance in these camps, and many suffered from post traumatic stress disorder as well as many other mental diseases as a result of the terrible tragedy they had witnessed in their lifetime.
In 2002 Cambodia had it's first ever local elections to select village and commune level representatives, an important step in bringing grassroots democracy to the country.
Cambodia is a country with an unimaginable past. A broken people who were stripped of their culture, their religion, their home lives. The country still struggles with great poverty and hopelessness. One area Ben and Kami hope to be involved in once they get to Cambodia is ministering to the many street children who live in the garbage dumps in the city. I believe a new generation is growing up in this chaotic environment...ready to rebuild. I believe the future of Cambodia is bright. I also believe that God loves the Cambodian people fiercely. He has great plans for them.
So here's a blog about Cambodia.
Cambodia is located in Southeast Asia in between Thailand, Laos, and Vietnam. The capital city is Phnom Penh (where I will be living during my time there.)
(Thanks LonelyPlanet.com for the map!)
Cambodia was once one of the most powerful kingdoms in Southeast Asia. Around the 9th century they were called the Angkor Empire. There are beautiful ruins from this empire that can still be seen in Cambodia today. One of the most famous is known as Angkor Wat:
After the Angkor Empire fell the country was ruled by various powers until the French gained control in 1864. They maintained control for many years until the country fell into civil war in the 1960's. (This is a very brief history, if you want to know more, you can go to Lonely Planet.)
In 1975 the communist Khmer Rouge took control under the dictatorship of Pol Pot. Khmer Rouge is translated as "Red Khmer". They wished to transform Cambodia in to a peasant-led society. Much like the Cultural Revolution of China, they wished to wipe out any forms of cultural advance, education, and religion. Any one with over a 3rd grade education was brutally imprisoned, tortured, and executed. It is estimated that around 2 million people died under the rule of Pol Pot in only a four year period.
Today you can still visit "The Killing Fields", the mass gravesite where innocent prisoners were killed and dumped. I know it will be a haunting and emotion experience to see it, but I feel like it's something I need to do once I get there, in order to better understand the people I will be sharing a year of my life with.
Through much struggle and violence, peace came to Cambodia in the late 1980's and early 1990's. There was still much horror happening to the people, however, in the loosely controlled refugee camps along Thai borders. Lawlessness, violence, poverty and disease were a day-to-day occurance in these camps, and many suffered from post traumatic stress disorder as well as many other mental diseases as a result of the terrible tragedy they had witnessed in their lifetime.
In 2002 Cambodia had it's first ever local elections to select village and commune level representatives, an important step in bringing grassroots democracy to the country.
Cambodia is a country with an unimaginable past. A broken people who were stripped of their culture, their religion, their home lives. The country still struggles with great poverty and hopelessness. One area Ben and Kami hope to be involved in once they get to Cambodia is ministering to the many street children who live in the garbage dumps in the city. I believe a new generation is growing up in this chaotic environment...ready to rebuild. I believe the future of Cambodia is bright. I also believe that God loves the Cambodian people fiercely. He has great plans for them.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
The Beginning...
Hello! My name is Jennifer Hanson and I'm setting out on the adventure of my lifetime. I was recently accepted as a Missionary Associate through the AGWM (Assemblies of God World Missions) to the country of Cambodia. I was invited to apply by my good friends, the Heilmans, who are currently about 60% of the way into raising their budget to be fulltime missionaries to Cambodia. (If you would like to support them financially, please let me know and I'll hook you up! I feel no shame in "advertising" for them because they are some really fantastic people that need your help to answer the call of God on their lives!) I will be teaching their two amazing kids, Hannah and Ethan, as well as being involved in various other school and children's ministries during my (so far) one year assignment there.
I'll be updating this blog regularly while I'm here in the States raising support and getting ready to go, as well as while I'm in Cambodia. Please subscribe to me if you'd like to keep in the loop. Also, if you would like to be added to my email/mail newsletter list, please send your info to: JenHanz2009@gmail.com.
I won't lie to you, I feel slightly overwhelmed at all that needs to get done before I leave the country. However, I know I serve a Great Big God who will be with me every step of the way. I humbly ask you to join me on this exciting, unpredictable, (and in the world's eyes) crazy adventure.
Love you all,
Jen
I'll be updating this blog regularly while I'm here in the States raising support and getting ready to go, as well as while I'm in Cambodia. Please subscribe to me if you'd like to keep in the loop. Also, if you would like to be added to my email/mail newsletter list, please send your info to: JenHanz2009@gmail.com.
I won't lie to you, I feel slightly overwhelmed at all that needs to get done before I leave the country. However, I know I serve a Great Big God who will be with me every step of the way. I humbly ask you to join me on this exciting, unpredictable, (and in the world's eyes) crazy adventure.
Love you all,
Jen
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